entertaining search engine referrals, part 2

“dream cow in tree”

(there was also one for “fuck barack obama”, which is incidentally also a dream i’ve had, but i’m pretty sure i didn’t write about it here.)

In case there was any doubt

These figures were provided in a presentation by Dr. Andrés Menéndez of the College Board’s Puerto Rico and Latin America Office titled ‘Perfil académico y socioeconómico del estudiante puertorriqueño‘. They represent the mean scores on the reasoning and achievement sections of the College Boards- Puerto Rico’s version of the ACT/SAT- for the 2006 graduating class according to family income. Even with the understanding that a fair number of students don’t have an accurate idea of what kind of money their parents make, this is a pretty depressing depiction of the effect of certain socioeconomic factors on academic performance. Not surprisingly, graphs tracking performance by mother’s education as well as father’s were similar.

By the numbers:

• Reported annual family income: less than $4,800, 14.3%; $4,801-9,000, 16.6%; $9,001-13,000; 15.3%; $13,001-20,000, 16.9%; $20,001-30,000, 16.0%; $30,001-42,000, 9.0%; $42,001-50,040, 4.6%; more than $50,040, 7.3%. (If you counted a full 63% of students whose families earn less than $20,000/year, your eyes are not lying to you.)
• 26.9% of mothers and 18.1% of fathers held bachelors degrees; 22.6% of mothers and 18.2% of fathers held associates. The number for masters or higher was the same for both sexes- 6.7%. 25.1% and 32.4% of mothers and fathers, respectively, did not continue education past high school.
• 73.1% of students were educated in public schools, 24.0% in private.

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

la vida es más compleja de lo que parece

el velo semitransparente
del desasosiego
un día se vino a instalar
entre el mundo y mis ojos
yo estaba empeñado en no ver
lo que vi, pero a veces
la vida es más compleja
de lo que parece

pensaste que me iba a quebrar
y subiste tu apuesta
me hiciste sentir el sabor
de mi propia cocina
volví a creer que se tiene
lo que se merece
la vida es más compleja
de lo que parece

todas las versiones
encuentran sitio en mi mesa
todas mis canciones
por una sola certeza

no quiero que lleves de mi
nada que no te marque
el tiempo dirá si al final
nos valió lo dolido
perderme, por lo que yo ví,
te rejuvenece
la vida es más compleja
de lo que parece

mejor o peor, cada cual
seguirá su camino
cuánto te quise
quizás seguirás sin saberlo
lo que dolería por siempre
ya se desvanece
la vida es más compleja
de lo que parece.

la vida es más compleja de lo que parece.

My sentiments exactly.

So in what I imagine is a national campaign, everyone’s favorite ‘wow, this tastes like watered-down goat piss’ beer has made a play for the hearts and wallets of the internet-savvy youth by using suggestive emoticons. (Another version shows an empty glass of Coors accompanied by a sad face.) The other day I encountered this on the way home. And laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Somehow I don’t think the advertising executives behind all of this counted on the addition of another widespread internet phenomenon: the comments box.

Narcissism

“Ah, I didn’t tell you! Someone met me this weekend.”

“Oh, K.. haha.”

food fight

Q: so yeah, you have your oblivious Midwestern griddle cakes.
me: and you enjoy your curried tofu cubes.
Q: i will eat the granola of Enlightenment
me: actually that’s not half bad.
Q: and we shall see whose colon is cleanest on the day of judgment
me: although i bought kashi once and it tasted like dog food after it’s come out of the dog’s butt.
Q: Kashi…
Q: no.
me: no kidding.
Q: it tastes like COLD TURDS OUT OF A DEAD DOG’S ASS.
me: YES
Q: it’s unrefined
me: but people keep talking about it in a positive light
Q: yeah
me: and i don’t understaaaaaand
Q: it’s insanely good for you
Q: but i mean
Q: it’s not refined
Q: so it’s like running through a wheat field with a fork and a hose full of milk
Q: i think they just flick the aphids off and shove the shit into a box
me: oh, god
me: lmao

the lessons

here is what i think. i think that i need to start making a book now, because if i ever have a child there are many things i want him or her to know.

i want my child to see pictures of many, many different kinds of bodies. i want my child to know that tummies and hips, breasts and bottoms, penises and vaginas come in all kinds of sizes, shapes, and colors- because above all, i want my child to know that they are normal. i need for him or her to know that normal isn’t always what people say it is, or what they show on television. the security that comes with knowing and being comfortable with this truth is priceless. i wasn’t raised with this information; i’m thankful that i realized it, or maybe achieved it, on my own. i see people lashing out at themselves and at others because they are made to feel bad about their bodies, and i want to do everything in my power to let my child know that it’s okay to look the way they do. if my child inherits the tendencies towards fluffiness that some members of my family exhibit when leading sedentary lifestyles, (s)he needs to understand that all the effort put in to counteract that trait, to build a strong and healthy body, will be worthless if the development of self is not attended to with comparable or even increased diligence. a beautiful shell is a shell nonetheless.

i want my child to know that there’s not always just one answer. i want my child to know that hurting other people because you are hurting is not the way to solve problems. that human interaction should not be considered a game. i want my child to know that if kids in elementary/middle/high school don’t like them, it’s not the end of the world because life begins anew once you escape that incestuous microcosm. i want my child to know that sometimes it’s not you- but sometimes it is. i want my child to learn to live in the manner that makes him or her proud, and that that is not always the manner that pleases everybody else. another one: ethics aren’t just for when somebody’s looking; in fact, they become almost more important when nobody is.

there are so, so many things that i have had to learn, and these things turn into lessons that i have the responsibility to teach. i don’t know if i could do it. i don’t know if i will try.

what i do know is that, for now, i am my child.