(Fiberoptic) Wire Mother


I realized yesterday that the Internet is, in effect, my mother.

(I was going to put a picture of the actual wire mother here, but my god, it’s depressing.)

This, when I was trying to figure out how to keep cut cilantro from wilting before I could use it all. (Make sure the leaves are dry, put it in a cup of water, put a plastic bag over the top et voilà, non-wilty herbs. Magic!) I turn to the Internet for recipes and cooking how-tos, for stain removal secrets, gardening tips, book recommendations, financial moves, you name it, she’s got it. I’ve never been much on asking anybody for relationship advice, but as a teenager, I had The Talk(s) with sites like Go Ask Alice, which were certainly more reliable sources of information about sex and my Lady Parts than my dad (and really, who was gonna ask him about Man Parts? Yikes.).  I’m pretty sure that the Internet will also be one of my main sources of information about baby raising. And it has never let me down when it comes to guilt tripping me and telling me what I should be doing with my life, which for me really seals the deal on this theory.

All of this to say.. essentially nothing, except that the 90’s and aughts have turned out to be a pretty decent time to be without the traditional sources of wisdom, conventional or otherwise, about How to Do Life. Thanks, Al Gore. (Wait..)

(I do realize what a ridiculously traditional role I’ve painted for my Internet mother–rest assured, she is all that and so much more.)


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