ohhhhhhhh fuck.

last night i had dinner at this mexican place in mayagüez with my favorite friend. when we were done eating, i went home, he went to drop some food off for his girlfriend, and then he picked me up and we went to the plaza in cabo rojo for drinks. this is pretty much our thursday night game plan, both because there’s not a whole lot to do, and because it’s just a good time. we laugh and talk and make fun of each other and when we’re kicked out of whatever place we’re in because they’re closing, he takes me home and we laugh and bullshit in the car for a few minutes and then call it a night.

except last night we laughed and bullshitted in the car for a good half hour, and then, although i tried not to, i cried a lot. because that was the last thursday night. i’m taking him to the airport on wednesday night/eeearly thursday morning. i don’t know what else to say about it. i’m not looking forward to the parts of my life that are going to be vacant without him. and thank god for telephones and thank god for internet companies that sell international calling cards for incredibly cheap and thank god for the opportunity to have this friendship in my life- because carlos really is the best of what speaking spanish has opened up for me, the manifestation of ‘i want to meet people i would never be able to know or talk to if i only spoke english’- but a big hearty fuck you to the downsides of growing close to people who are just passing through.

i know it’s not forever and it’s not the end of the world, but it is the end of (another) era, and it sucks. a lot.

fuck.